VCU psychology Ph.D. candidate helps grieving individuals deal with loss

By Ellen Mercer
VCU Alumni Activities

Rob Fazio's father was among the thousands killed in the towers that day. When you lose someone close to you, he says, "All of a sudden the number one is more powerful than any number you have ever written or seen."

Rob's father, Ronald Carl Fazio Sr., was one of the heroes of 9-11, calming co-workers on the 99th floor of Tower 2, holding the stairwell door until the last person left, cheering them on while they walked and walked down the stairs. Leaving the tower just as the second plane hit, he was apparently killed by falling debris.

Fazio, his family and his father's friends wanted to do something to commemorate his heroic, loving and funny father. Remembering Ronald Fazio Sr., they realized that he had been metaphorically holding the door for others-for his children, his wife, his family, for friends and co-workers and strangers-all his life. Fazio is a Ph.D. candidate in counseling psychology at VCU, and his focus quickly shifted to meeting the emotional needs of grieving families.

He and his family and friends started a nonprofit foundation, Hold the Door for Others, to help victims of 9-11 and other families dealing with grievous loss. "Most important," he says, "to help them get what they need from a social and emotional perspective." The foundation's team of professionals in counseling, clinical, social, sports and business psychology is helping people rebuild their lives. They've given away 2600 free copies of the workbook, "Living with Loss: the Journey through September 11th," and they've launched an interactive CD-ROM, "Gaining from Loss: the Journey Continues."

Foundation outreach and resources help people to share their sadness and contribute their own professional skills to help each other. "We have created a structured network of people who identify their areas of expertise, development and dreams. Focusing outward on others can give people a sense of relief from their own grief," Fazio explains, speaking from the heart of his own experience.

On July 26, 2003, they presented the first Hold the Door Day, at Pace University, just north of New York City. Organizers distributed pamphlets and CD-ROMs and presented lectures on how to remain positive during intense grief, including simply sharing stories of loss with others who are grieving. "We are determined to teach the necessary life skills not only to survive, but to thrive after loss."

In May, Fazio received the Student Award for Distinguished Service from the College of Humanities and Sciences for his outstanding service at VCU and to the broader community. In August, Fazio traveled to Toronto,and was the first student ever to receive a Presidential Citation from the American Psychological Association, on behalf of the foundation team for their work.
For more information on the foundation, visit www.holdthedoor.com.